Is it just me or have you ever imagined being at your own funeral to hear what people would say about you after you’re gone? Just me? Ok, but hear me out. I rely on language to express myself, describe my values, and communicate the love I feel for others. According to the Five Love Languages, I am a ‘words of affirmation’ type. That means the old saying ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’ is Grade A bologna! Thoughtful sentiments from others go directly into my heartspace and stir up something wonderful. There is something about the written word that I’ll never get over. It’s power. It’s authenticity. With such a simple gesture, it can change so much. It’s the ability to express something that might not make it out so smoothly in person. It’s why I still write thank you cards and send cards for every other occasion or non-occasion imaginable. I will spend $6 on a greeting card without blinking if I know it is perfect for someone. So yeah… hearing how someone would eulogize me motivates me to make sure my people know they are my people. I recently heard a speaker preach ‘Live your obituary, not your resume.’ The premise is that you are replaceable at work but not at home. Spend your time doing things that add to your obituary, things worthy of a eulogy mention, not just resume accolades.
Handwriting
Looking at my mom or dad’s handwriting brings me joy. No wonder people permanently ink themselves with love notes written by lost loved ones. It’s a one-of-a-kind fingerprint communication tool. While I communicate digitally (this blog!) often, I hope the art of written sentiments never fades. It’s not about the legibility of your penmanship (says the elementary school teacher). It’s about you taking the time to sit down and spill from your heart onto paper. I wish people didn’t worry so much about their writing skills. My mom never felt confident in her card writing yet they are what I cling to most! From her signature Kiss Kiss XX Mom to the smiley faces and hearts. I relish seeing her unique handwriting. I keep random notes of hers everywhere! I even have an old planner of hers on my desk from 2007 to see her handwriting, which is unique to only my mama. My dad is a whole other ball game for chronicling his life, love, and passion from wolves to family to road trips. Seeing his entries brings me to my core.
The Impact
My dad’s scrapbook-style journals are priceless. Momentos that connect me to the past. Like I’m on the road with him, making stops nationwide. That’s not always something even an image can do. Besides, there is so much we forget as we age. There is no way I’d remember half the things or sentiments my parents felt without their cards and journals. It helps me stay connected to them. Although I won’t be making new memories with them it feels it when I read these written treasures they’ve left behind.
I urge you to start. Start small if you have to. Notes on post-its, scrap paper from the junk drawer, text, email, anything! Expressing your feelings about someone in the written form serves as a mini-living eulogy. Maybe, just maybe if we did this more often and knew our impact we wouldn’t have to wonder who would take the preacher up on the offer to speak at our memorial. You’ll already know your impact because you opened that communication with a simple gesture. Tomorrow is not promised. Make sure your people know they are your people.