My dad’s favorite song resonates with me more than it did the last I listened to it with him. I remember riding with him in Washington, and it came on. He had his voice box removed, but still rocked out and lip-synced to the song. As we drove, he wrote down on his notepad, “The part that says ‘the good ol’ days may not return’ makes me sad.” At that point, he knew. And that’s when I found out. And that was the last time I would visit him in WA before he passed two months later.
See, my dad loved music. You can say that about a lot of people, but it was so meaningful to him in ways that evoked nostalgia and resonated with his mood. So much so that he sent me a mixed CD with two typewritten pages that read:
For me, music used to pump up the day. I always preferred faster, stronger, upbeat tempo music. I have come to appreciate slower, but impactful tunes nowadays. Some songs always reminded me of certain times/places in my life. I put together an eclectic collection of some of these and wanted to share what I listened to with you. Some you will like and some not so much. Some have stories behind them, and others are just plain classics. Enjoy them all, here they are! K, we should listen to it together – Dad
#10: Learning to Fly by Tom Petty (LIVE). I find it hard to relay my feelings about this song. My single all-time fave song. This song came on the radio on the first trip out of the hospital after my stem cell transplant. I already loved the song, but it became special to me. I interpret the words to refer to life changes after cancer. I have heard this song more times than any other song in my life. The live version at the concert touched me deeply. It will always be my best musical memory of my life!
Today I begin to do the same thing he did for me for my own children. It is such a gift to have so much of his writing, his travel journals, his handwritten cards, and more. They will likely continue to be my most prized possessions. Nothing tugs at my heartstrings more than to see his one-of-a-kind handwriting, especially when he addressed me as ‘Special K.’
My #1 Song: Shimmer by Fuel. I have always felt a connection with this song, especially the line “feeling short of stable.” I love the way it sounds. I love the fact that you can jam out to it, but it has some heavier lyrics about how shimmery things tend to fade. As depressing as that could sound, it’s true. It’s a great reminder not to chase the shiny or get caught up in the glitter, but to pursue the durable and genuine. I’ve definitely found some gems along the way in my life, and they are resilient and long-lasting, and I am forever grateful to call them mine.
Thanks to my dad, I have the motivation to continuously tap into my sentimental, nostalgic self, knowing how to meaningfully leave behind bits and pieces of my story. A multi-layered story that may help my kids understand who they are and where they come from, and how to chronicle the events along the way.